Seriously?

As you know, Sarah is gimpy.  We’ve never gotten a true cause for her wobble.  We just work around it.

Sarah's handicap is directly responsible for her downright adorable manner of running.
Sarah’s handicap is directly responsible for her downright adorable manner of running.

Over the last several months, Sare Bear’s clumsiness has increased, partly due to Hairy Paw (someone remind me to update you on that!), partly due to the probable degeneration of her condition over all.  Stepping up or down without assistance often results in face plants and it doesn’t take much of a bump anymore to turn an upright Sarah into a Sarah version of a plastic Breyer horse laying on its side.

Try as we might, we aren’t always able to catch her as she falls and when we do it usually results in a pulled something or a flare up of an already sore body part on either Crabby or me.

Additionally, for reasons we can’t understand, Gertie has decided she absolutely MUST lay right outside the back door.  While the other kids have just gotten into the habit of jumping over her when they need to pass, Sarah is stuck, and so are we:

Do we shoo away the uber elderly arthritic dog to make it easier for the younger, gimpy dog to pass?

Pa-lease!  This is Run A Muck Ranch, where there are 2 humans serving 14 furry overlords!  Rather than disturb Gertie, we assist Sarah in an out the door in such a manner as to be gentle on Sarah while not disturbing Gertie.

In doing so, however, I am oft spending the night sleeping flat on my back on Sarah’s couch mounting platform with my feet on the couch as it is the only way I can get relief from my own pain.  Do you realize just how hard and physically straining it is to move a 78 pound Sarah past a 90 pound immovable Gertie?

My back, shoulder and wrists finally gave out.  Remember back when Sarah hurt her leg and we had to support her front end for her?

A simple sports bra made supporting Sarah in her time of need so much easier on all of us!
A simple sports bra made supporting Sarah in her time of need so much easier on all of us!

The sports bra worked so well back then, it seems only logical that we make it a permanent fixture.  It would be so much easier, and less painful on all of us if we had an easier way to assist Sarah.

I already share outer wear with Crabby.  How pathetic would it be if I could honestly say I share underwear with my dog?

Today, you guessed it, I went bra shopping for Sarah. Truth be told, and I don’t know how to take this, but Sarah really needs a larger size than me…

I haven’t shopped for a bra in years.  Yup, pretty pathetic.  Apparently it’s been too long because in the near or distant past, the purpose of a sports bra went from simply holding the girls firmly in place to holding them firmly in place while simultaneously making them look bigger.  Yes sports fans, it is impossible to find an un-padded sports bra.  I checked several places and got the same answer.   The fact that sports bras now ‘enhance’ breast size for women who, by definition of the purpose of the bra itself, will be sweating profusely is very logical.  According to the sales ladies, that I was shopping for a bra for my dog was downright strange. But my back couldn’t take it any more.  I had no choice but to buy Sara a padded sports bra.

Now we have a dilemma.

How exactly do we explain this when we take Sarah out in public???

Yes, Sarah has a woman's rack on her back.
Yes, Sarah has a woman’s rack on her back.
What would you think if you saw this coming at you?
What would you think if you saw this coming at you?
We're hoping the padding eventually 'deflates'.
We’re hoping the padding eventually ‘deflates’.
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17 thoughts on “Seriously?

  1. Bwahahahaah well they cab be surgically removed by a cosmetic surgeon..or a quick spin in the washing machine..as i have them as indeed you can’t buy any without padding and the pading ends up wedged in a corner or all over the shop …damn things 🙂

    1. We can hope the washer does the trick. As it is, the pads migrate when Sarah moves. Crabby is torn between the need to adjust the pads so they don’t look crooked and the reality that if he did, it would be the equivalent to him feeling up his dog.

  2. I shall leave the anatomy side of the issue to you two but – honestly what I would think if I saw this coming towards me – my first thought would be – Wow, this is a dog and an owner who support Breast Cancer Research. Fantastic!!

    1. What will the fluorescent yellow one say? Those particular 2 were on clearance for $5. Much easier to swallow than the less bright ones for $25.

    1. Some of them get kind of expensive and since we KNOW one of the morons will get a hold of it and destroy it at some point, we chose to stay with the cheaper and easier to replace locally sports bra. Both the one in the pic and the radioactively bright yellow one I picked up as well were $5 on the clearance rack 🙂

    1. The fear is causing some sort of a string or “grabby” point which would inevitably lead to Sarah and her bra becoming a novel new toy to some of the more stupid ones. At this point the pads have merged. She no longer has a rack, now she’s a hunchback.

      1. I see what you mean, I didn’t know if cutting them out and re-sowing would work… can a padded sports bar work if you take the padding out? Although you don’t have to worry about that any more, now all you have to explain is why you decided to give your dog a hot pink hunchback… good luck with that!

    1. We’re the lucky ones. Sare Bear is an angel. It isn’t fair she has a harder time of it than the rest of The Horde.

  3. Caution: this comment may be offensive to most. Have you thought about putting a bridge over Gertie? “Bridge” is a bad word and crossing it is even worse.

    1. I have a feeling she would be crushed under the weight of Slugger, who would think it was the coolest thing everrr and spend his outside time jumping on and off of it.

    1. Fortunately she found a sympathetic friend who sent her 2 unpadded sports bras that Sarah can wear proudly 🙂

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