Seriously?

As you know, Sarah is gimpy.  We’ve never gotten a true cause for her wobble.  We just work around it.

Sarah's handicap is directly responsible for her downright adorable manner of running.
Sarah’s handicap is directly responsible for her downright adorable manner of running.

Over the last several months, Sare Bear’s clumsiness has increased, partly due to Hairy Paw (someone remind me to update you on that!), partly due to the probable degeneration of her condition over all.  Stepping up or down without assistance often results in face plants and it doesn’t take much of a bump anymore to turn an upright Sarah into a Sarah version of a plastic Breyer horse laying on its side.

Try as we might, we aren’t always able to catch her as she falls and when we do it usually results in a pulled something or a flare up of an already sore body part on either Crabby or me.

Additionally, for reasons we can’t understand, Gertie has decided she absolutely MUST lay right outside the back door.  While the other kids have just gotten into the habit of jumping over her when they need to pass, Sarah is stuck, and so are we:

Do we shoo away the uber elderly arthritic dog to make it easier for the younger, gimpy dog to pass?

Pa-lease!  This is Run A Muck Ranch, where there are 2 humans serving 14 furry overlords!  Rather than disturb Gertie, we assist Sarah in an out the door in such a manner as to be gentle on Sarah while not disturbing Gertie.

In doing so, however, I am oft spending the night sleeping flat on my back on Sarah’s couch mounting platform with my feet on the couch as it is the only way I can get relief from my own pain.  Do you realize just how hard and physically straining it is to move a 78 pound Sarah past a 90 pound immovable Gertie?

My back, shoulder and wrists finally gave out.  Remember back when Sarah hurt her leg and we had to support her front end for her?

A simple sports bra made supporting Sarah in her time of need so much easier on all of us!
A simple sports bra made supporting Sarah in her time of need so much easier on all of us!

The sports bra worked so well back then, it seems only logical that we make it a permanent fixture.  It would be so much easier, and less painful on all of us if we had an easier way to assist Sarah.

I already share outer wear with Crabby.  How pathetic would it be if I could honestly say I share underwear with my dog?

Today, you guessed it, I went bra shopping for Sarah. Truth be told, and I don’t know how to take this, but Sarah really needs a larger size than me…

I haven’t shopped for a bra in years.  Yup, pretty pathetic.  Apparently it’s been too long because in the near or distant past, the purpose of a sports bra went from simply holding the girls firmly in place to holding them firmly in place while simultaneously making them look bigger.  Yes sports fans, it is impossible to find an un-padded sports bra.  I checked several places and got the same answer.   The fact that sports bras now ‘enhance’ breast size for women who, by definition of the purpose of the bra itself, will be sweating profusely is very logical.  According to the sales ladies, that I was shopping for a bra for my dog was downright strange. But my back couldn’t take it any more.  I had no choice but to buy Sara a padded sports bra.

Now we have a dilemma.

How exactly do we explain this when we take Sarah out in public???

Yes, Sarah has a woman's rack on her back.
Yes, Sarah has a woman’s rack on her back.
What would you think if you saw this coming at you?
What would you think if you saw this coming at you?
We're hoping the padding eventually 'deflates'.
We’re hoping the padding eventually ‘deflates’.

Sarah’s Something Special Day

Recently, we instituted mandatory Something Special Days.   Once a week, each dog is to be separated from The Hoard for 100% attention.  No cell phone, no distractions, just 100% attention focused on one dog.

Today was Sarah’s Something Special Day.

As an added bonus, she had both Crabby and me there to share it with her.

Does this look like a happy girl to you?

 

DSC_4719

Sarah Happy Feet… Almost

Sarah’s handicap gives her the most endearing gait when she runs.  We call her Sarah Happy Feet when she gets in The Zone.  Blessed be the photographer who can capture Sarah Happy Feet at just the right moment.

 

Huge smile and legs all over the place, it can brighten anyone’s day.

 

Crabby and I had Sarah out on the desert this evening, and the light happened to be perfect.  What a great time to get the last Sarah Happy Feet photos of 2014!

The way to capture the best Happy Feet picture is to get Sarah started, then keep the finger on the shutter button until she either runs me over (grace and depth perception are not Sarah’s strong points) or passes me.  The hope is the last shot before collision or “sprint by” will be THE one.

 

Big Smile, Check!  Motivation (in the form of Crabby running), Check!  Happy Feet in motion, Check!
Big Smile, Check! Motivation (in the form of Crabby running), Check! Happy Feet in motion, Check!

 

Getting closer!  All systems go!
Getting closer! All systems go!

 

 

Woo Hoo!  A couple more  steps and we will have THE best Happy Feet photo of 2014!  We're psyched!
Woo Hoo! A couple more steps and we will have THE best Happy Feet photo of 2014! We’re psyched!

 

 

But this is Run A Muck Ranch.  Nothing seems to go our way.

 

 

Figures...
I present to you, Gertie Photo Bomb, 2014.

 

Run A Muck Ranch Yields to the Space Saving Masters

I’ve posted many a pic, and a few posts, showing how the Run A Much Ranch dogs excel at making the most of small spaces.

Nimwits piled on top of each other, series of multiple spoons, and other such cute, cuddly, compact postures have been shared with pride, me believing our dogs were the masters.  I was wrong.

I humbly yield the Space Saving Masters Title to the Bull Terriers in this video, with extra accolades going to the black and white one.

 

The Monster From the Muck

So there we were, out for Sunday Family Desert Walk, at the waterhole, when suddenly and without warning, something emerged from the muck.

 

What IS this fiendish creature?
What IS this fiendish creature?

 

It ran to and fro for a while.

 

To
To

 

Fro
Fro

 

We tried to be silent and still so as not to be seen by the evil spawn from the depths, but it saw us anyway, charging at us in a most menacing manner.

 

Fear struck deep in our hearts when we saw IT close up.
Fear struck deep in our hearts when we saw IT close up.

 

Mortimer was flummoxed by the sight. Afraid to approach, yet equally afraid to flee.

 

Morty's Flumixed face.
Morty’s flummoxed face.

 

Terrified though we were, we decided to stay near the waterhole for the safety of the other dogs who accompanied us.  Eventually the wild THING that emerged from the muck calmed down enough for us to realize it was just Emmi.

 

Sweet Emmi
Sweet Emmi

 

Words of wisdom from The Crazy Dog Lady:  Beware Wet Emmis wherever they may be found.

 

Pre-Explosion

It wasn’t fair that Pablo didn’t get to out on Sunday Family Desert Walks.  Shy of fitting him with 50 pound weights, we weren’t sure how to slow him down in the wilderness, and if he got away from us, he would be gone for good.

We eventually relented, tightening his collar, putting him on a long line and clipping the line to my person.  The clip is a safeguard, insuring Pablo is safely attached to me in the event I become incapacitated for any reason.

Though Pablo does enjoy the walks, actually, they’re more like sled dog training sessions for the amount he pulls, sometimes he gets a little frustrated and, for lack of a better word, explodes.

I wish I had the video recorder for this morning’s episode, but all I had was the still camera.  It was enough to get the pre-explosion, however 🙂

 

Release me you $%##!! human!!!!
Release me you $%##!! human!!!!

 

 

More Fun Times at the Waterhole

Franky (left), Morty (top) and Slugger (bottom) on Sunday Family Desert Walk this morning.  We took Franky hoping he could keep the walk respectable.  Things don’t always work out as we would hope 🙂

 

Note Franky's look of pure disgust at the shemanegans.
What do you think was going through Franky’s mind at that particular moment?

 

 

Because I Never Pass Up a Chance to humiliate one of my kids

My computer memory runneth over and I’m going through old stuff to see what I can delete.

I completely forgot about this little incident, recorded on Christmas day 2013, a day or two after the baby gate was installed between the kitchen and back hallway.

Vito was convinced crossing the floor bar would result in his immediate demise.  It took nearly a week before he would go from kitchen to hallway, or the reverse, on his own.

 

 

Despite this chink in his armor, we still hold Vito up as our Lord and Protector.