Run A Muck Ranch Actually Gets a Few Good Pictures of Gracie!
Though not from lack of trying, Run A Muck Ranch has failed for years to get more than one or two (total) good pictures of Gracie. Then, and with no explanation to give, within a week, Gracie produced 4 (four) new good pictures;
And then, Friday, October 4, these pictures were taken:
It may be years before you see another picture of Gracie on this blog…
Mortimer Off Favorite Dog List Again, Takes Marcy With Him
Every time Mortimer goes camping for the weekend, only to return home and greet everyone but Crazy, he finds himself kicked off Crazy’s Favorite Dog List, and rightly so. Still, he eventually does something to make Crazy happy, and always makes it back on The List, at least until now.
One evening, when calling the kids in from their before-bedtime potty break, Marcy appeared at the back door, with a rabbit in her mouth.
The other dogs of Run A Muck Ranch – they think all food comes in bags, and none have ever found any dog food bags in the desert to hunt.
Mortimer, however, had to live by his own devices, on the desert, for who knows how long, before he presented himself in the driveway of Run A Muck Ranch and demanded the gates be open for him. Remember, this is the same dog that can catch flying birds right out of the air! It can, therefore, be assumed that Mortimer is also skilled at catching rabbits.
Marcy came from a city street where garbage and occasional handouts were her buffet. Up until that fateful evening when she caught the rabbit, she showed no hunting skill or desire to become skilled. Marcy has inherited certain traits of her beloved Idiots, and it is pretty obvious her new-found hunting abilities can only have been taught to her by Morty.
The Run A Muck Ranch dogs are well fed, and killing for any reason is unacceptable.
Marcy was kicked off the Favorite Dog List because of the senseless murder. Since that time, she has apologized. and while she still chases rabbits if they get in the back yard, she doesn’t try to catch them. Marcy has regained her place on The Favorite Dog List.
Mortimer has been kicked off the Favorite Dog List permanently for using his influence on innocent, impressionable Marcy to convince her that killing a rabbit is acceptable. Mortimer will never again be put back on The Favorite Dog List.
Saltine Bandit Identified
Occasionally, snacks are left in relatively easy to reach places, and when they disappear, Crabby usually blames Willy. Recently, however, the real culprit was caught, salty muzzled.
Due to the multiple dogs living at The Ranch, accusations are often made, but actual proof which could be presented in a court of law is rarely offered, and the investigations have gone cold.
Only in The Great Snickerdoodle Caper of 2012 and the Whatchamacallit Candy Bar heist of 09, were the suspects ever apprehended.
Run A Muck Ranch is pleased to announce the most recent crime, The Saltine Snatch of 2013, has been solved, and the perpetrator, when presented with the very strong evidence against him, has confessed.
I think we can all agree there is no question Willy has been taking the blame for the actions of Vito and that Crabby owes him an apology.
The Crabby Man is Not the Pittsburgh Steelers Fan He Claims to Be
For those 3 people on earth who aren’t aware, any fan of the Steelers is hard-core. The Terrible Towel used as their receiving blanket when they ‘re born is also their burial shroud when they die. It’s in their blood and there is no cure.
Crabby claimed to be one of these hardcore fans. Recently, however, he proved that is not the case.
If you have been following the NFL, you know that this year the Steelers suck. Actually, that’s being kind. It’s a waste of airtime even to give any attention to the Steelers in 2013.
Since all other wishing, praying, or whatever else Steelers’ fans do to make their team win wasn’t working, Crazy suggested Crabby rub Willy’s head for luck. Crabby refused. This is the same man who once had lit candles and crystals surrounding a Pittsburgh Steelers street sign, and Terrible Towel, during a difficult season, to help his team win. It can be assumed he will go to great lengths for the cause!
During the 2013 Cleveland/Steelers game, Willy happened to be on the couch with Crabby. At one point, Willy’s foot came into contact with Crabby’s person. During the time Willy and Crabby were in contact, the Steelers scored 10 points. Before Willy’s contact, Cleveland scored. During Willy’s contact, Steelers’ scored. When Willy eventually left the couch, the Steelers lost, 24-10.
It’s not rocket science here. Crabby’s nemesis, Willy, is indeed the lucky Rabbit’s Foot that could salvage the Steelers 2013 season. But will Crabby use the newly discovered magic? No. Crabby would rather see the Steelers go down in flames than to give a point to Willy by asking him for his help. Crabby will not take one for The Team. He is not a real and true Steelers fan.
Mortimer Back on Crazy Dog Lady’s Favorite Dog List
Mortimer’s permanent status off The Crazy Dog Lady’s Favorite Dog List has been altered slightly in that he is back on The List. There are 2 reasons for this:
1. Morty hasn’t had a tapeworm for 2 months. This means that, at least for the last 2 months, Morty has not consumed wildlife. OK, so it might only mean he hasn’t consumed infected wildlife, but Crazy prefers to believe the former.
2. Since the Big Camping Weekend of August, where Crazy actually left The Ranch for the first time in 4 years, and for 2.5 whole days, Mortimer has learned the true value of having a Mom: A lap at the campsite, permission to cuddle in the tent, proper and healthy food, all denied Mortimer when camping trips are just with “The Guys”, turned out to be pretty cool by Morty’s standards.
Indeed, since the August trip, every single time Morty returns from a camping trip with Crabby, he greets Crazy! Not first, but still, where before he wouldn’t even acknowledge her, now he greets her.
Spill over of Morty’s new-found appreciation of his Mom has also occurred in the fact that more often than not, Crazy wakes up in the morning with Morty snuggled up to her.
As long as Morty continues to leave wildlife alone, and continues to be cuddly and is not ashamed to make public shows of affection to his Mom, readers should disregard the statements made in the second story of this News Bulletin as Morty will remain on Crazy’s Favorite Dog List.
Run A Muck Ranch to Boycott Lowes Home Improvement Store
William accompanied Crazy recently on errands for work. After parking close to the nursery entrance of a Lowes Home Improvement Store, Crazy noticed 2 dogs in the store. Rather than ass-u-me that it was OK for William to go in with Crazy, Crazy stepped up and asked the cashier if William was permitted. The cashier responded “As long as he’s not a pit bull, bring him in.”
William was very well-behaved, offering an occasional good-natured tail wag, a “Roo! Roo!” and a playful flip of the head in greeting as other customers passed him. None so much as even glanced his way other than to look at him with annoyance. The barking Lhasa (or maybe it was a Shih Tzu) received many comments of “What a cute dog!” with chin scritches.
When no one noticed William’s cheerful greetings, he resorted to throwing himself on the ground and offering up his belly, tail wagging and head tossing playfully. Many of the other customers walked a wide berth around him, and none offered him a greeting. The wagging tailed Beagle, who actually jumped on 2 people that Crazy witnessed, received pets and laughs.
When attempting to leave the store, William was so frustrated that absolutely no one would even acknowledge him, he threw himself on the floor at the entrance, belly up, and offered one more wagging tail with a “Roo! Roo!”. His action was met with looks of disdain from customers and cashier alike.
Run A Muck Ranch, and Crazy, Landscape Maintenance Worker Extraordinaire, will never spend another dime in a Lowes Home Improvement Store for the following reasons:
1. Any store that discriminates against a breed (pit bulls not allowed) based on nothing but media hype, but allows breeds with a much higher bite likelihood (almost any small breed dog) isn’t worthy of Run A Muck Ranch’s money.
2. Since all customers present at the time of William’s visit preferred a constantly yapping brat dog and a misbehaving Beagle over Sweet William who occasionally sang a “Roo Roo!” while inviting people to be his friend, even going so far as to put himself in the most submissive position for a dog, clearly indicating he had no mal intentions, well, clearly the people who patronize Lowes Home Improvement Stores have no taste, and Run A Muck Ranch has no use for them.