Put Your Pants On, We’ve Got Visitors!

In my wildest dreams, I never thought my entering my own home with a guest would have to be preceded with the shouted statement to my husband; “Put your pants on, we’ve got visitors!”, but it’s true.

The Crabby Man is afflicted with the male condition known as Can’t-keep-the-pants-on-itis.   Within 28 seconds of coming through the door from work, an outing, or whatever, the pants come off and he exists only in his underwear.

And now you know why some of the pictures I post are cropped in odd fashions, no pun intended.   The kids do so many adorable things,  unfortunately,  they prefer to do them next to, or on top of, the underwear clad Crabby Man.

Remember this one from Father’s Day where Vito gave Crabby the giant stress ball to calm Crabby down for when Vito had his seizures?


It would have been better if you saw Vito at Crabby’s feet, looking up at him with adoration.   The pic as cropped is funny.  To see it in it’s full glory, a man in his underwear, squeezing a big orange thingy, with a tiny (don’t tell Vito I said that!) dog at his feet, well, that was pretty disturbing.

Sometimes I can creatively crop a picture when it appears Crabby’s underwear are actually shorts.


Sometimes, the kid is in such an adorable pose I figure the viewer wouldn’t spend much time pondering Crabby’s attire.


Sometimes I tearfully had to delete a picture altogether, losing forever a priceless picture of one of the kids because there was no way to edit out Crabby’s pasty white legs protruding from his tighty blueys.

Editing to preserve Crabby’s modesty is now a thing of the past, and let me tell you why:

There came an evening last week when I asked Crabby to prepare the people dinner.  In usual Crabby fashion, that involved dialing the phone to order pizza.  As soon as the grueling task was completed, underwear clad Crabby melded with the couch.  Usually, it is me that has to finish Crabby-prepared meals by accepting the pizza at the door.  Last week, I insisted Crabby be responsible for the ENTIRE dinner preparation, which included interfacing with the pizza delivery guy.  One would have assumed that would mean keeping his (Crabby’s, not the pizza delivery guy’s) pants on until dinner was ready.  One would have assumed wrong.  When the pizza delivery guy showed up at our door, Crabby, clad in only a t-shirt, socks and underwear, proceeded to conclude the transaction.

The way I see it, if Crabby is not concerned about a total stranger, who handles our food, seeing him in his underwear, then sharing Crabby in his habitual half-dressed glory should not be a problem if shown to the world.   Therefore, be prepared to see more of Crabby than you have seen before.

If per chance there happens to be a men’s underwear manufacturer out there that would like a great opportunity for some product placement, please contact Run A Muck Ranch.   Crabby will gladly sport your label in exchange for dog food.  Just please, no bikinis, thongs or other like garments.


36 thoughts on “Put Your Pants On, We’ve Got Visitors!

  1. Haha – boy can I relate to that – (not my ex) but my sister’s husband. And the best part is he watches the giant screen tv while standing about 6″ away from it. My sister gave up yelling at him about it and the whole family has just accepted it. Hey, it is his house.

      1. Is ‘neighbors’ one of your blog entries? If so, can you post the link? The world should know that this affliction is everywhere!

      2. Bummer! When you said read ‘neighbors’, I got a little excited. I’m kind of wondering if we should do a Men in their underwear FB where significant others can post pics of their men in briefs to shame them into putting their pants on…

      3. I suspect shame doesn’t work if yours likes to parade in front of the pizza guy and mine, like yours, couldn’t care less. It starts from young. I often seen the topless neighbour’s little son parading on the balcony sans pants or underwear…

      4. I once walked in on world traveler property owners, in the pool, with their 5 small children, all naked. I had been working in the front yard, and the mom had greeted me, so she knew I was there, and would be working in the back. Not one of them batted an eye and expected me to keep on keeping on. I don’t mean to be a prude, by seeing naked you and your naked kids… not on my to do list for the day 🙂

      5. I finally told them either they put on bathing suits or I have to leave, but they would be charged for the full visit. They ended up going inside. Never skinny dipped when I was there ever again.

      6. At least the kids get to learn that it may not be such a great idea to parade around like that before acquaintances. I’m surprised they were comfortable to still have you around. Must be awkward. But then again, I guess they have a different set of values from me 😛

  2. My husband is the same way….luckily he wears boxers so at least I can buy him some fun ‘shorts’. At this point I think the pizza guy would actually be surprised to see him wearing pants 😉

    1. God bless boxers! Have you seen the, I think it is Argentinian, commercial “Men in briefs”? I think it was a commercial for air conditioning units, but it showed a bunch of men of all ages and sizes wandering their homes in their tighy whities, and told the viewers that it could be avoided if they bought whatever it was the commercial is for. From that, I think the affliction is rampant in Argentina as well….

    1. Is this a south of the border affliction as well??? Actually, you have experience north of the border as well… please do tell…

    1. At least you make it until after dinner! I consider myself lucky that Crabby doesn’t have his pants off in the driveway once he gets home!

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