The Evil Genius of Run A Muck Ranch

I want to quote for you the final paragraphs of Mortimer’s bio as can be seen in The Cast of Run A Muck Ranch category of this blog:

“After Willy came in, I said the barn door was slammed shut, nailed, barred, and had a 12 inch solid steel plate installed.   Didn’t do us any good because Morty just jumped the fence.

The reinforcements remain on the door.  We have also reinforced the fence.  So unless there is an even larger or smarter dog that can find a weak spot in our defenses, Morty is the last.  PLEASE send positive thoughts into the wind that Morty is the last!”

Enter Marcy:

We didn't know Marcy had such fat ears....
We didn’t know Marcy had such fat ears….

I saw a movie a while back where the villain was a 30 something woman with a condition called Proportional Dwarfism which allowed her to pass as a pre-pubescent girl.  The premise of the movie was this ‘girl’ would pose as an orphan, get a family to foster or adopt her, and once in their home, she would wreak havoc and mayhem.

That pretty much describes Marcy.

It isn’t that she’s a small dog with puppy looks, that’s been done to death.  She looks like a puppy who will some day grow into a large dog.  And she is mayhem on paws.

Who could have guessed those puppy eyes and puppy ways were only a cover for her Evil Genius.

Think about it:

1.  Marcy didn’t have to get through the reinforcements we installed to keep new dogs out on her own.  Nope, like the woman in the movie, her baby appearance got her driven to, and escorted through the Gates of Run A Muck Ranch, under false pretenses,  by the very people who proclaimed at Morty “Read our lips:  No more dogs!”

2.  Once she passed all the defenses in place to prevent any other dog from entering The Ranch, Marcy began working her Evil Genius, first with the stupid dogs, then the smarter ones, then the older ones, making sure they all got attached to her.   We used to think Slugger was the thread, not even close.  Marcy is the true common denominator with all the kids.

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There be evil in those eyes!

3.  When Crabby stated clearly, “We can’t have 13 dogs!”, Marcy immediately shredded one of my work boots and convinced Vito to swallow pieces of it, something Vito would never have done in the past, causing his intestinal blockage, in an obvious attempt to murder him, making Marcy the allowable #12 and not the forbidden #13.

4. Through some kind of freaky telepathy, Marcy convinced Crabby to make her an “M” dog.  “M” dogs at Run A Muck Ranch (Maude, Emmi and Morty) being the ones that can manipulate Crabby the most.

5.  After all we’ve done for her, we STILL can’t approach her without her running away.  All human/Marcy contact is regulated by Marcy, not us.   She gives just enough affection to make you want more, but when you want more, she refuses to give it.   Kid you not, sometimes it feels like she deliberately leads us on.    But hey, if you call her, she comes immediately every single time, so at least we have that.

From the South Phoenix streets, never touched by humans, to Run A Muck Ranch.  There is no other way to explain it:  Marcy is an Evil Genius.

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