Yup, with what we have at The Ranch, we have to plan this far ahead….
Crabby and Crazy are going to do the unthinkable: They are going to leave The Ranch for a weekend. Crazy will be ripped away from her children for 2 days.
The dates are: leave early in the day Friday, August 23, return Sunday August 25 late morning or early afternoon.
Worst case scenario, there will be 13 dogs and 2 horses at The Ranch. A Rental Dog family has already offered to take a few kids for the weekend and Crazy will need at least 1 kid with her to keep her sane. So, it is unknown exactly how many, or which kids, will need entertaining. If a babysitter is bringing a dog to The Ranch, it would be best to do a couple of meet and greets first.
This is a sleep over babysitting gig, and babysitter will have to be ready to park it on the couch (or take shelter under the bed) by 4pm Friday and Saturday and not leave until the next morning. Though breakfast time is negotiable, if the kids are not fed dinner precisely at 4pm, they start death throws from starvation.
Fear not! No one is expected to dish out the bowls at feed times like Crazy does. The kids will just eat kibble for a few days. That being said, 6, including Charlie the horse, require meds, and the kids WILL have to be separated into their respective rooms, in the proper order when eating lest they reign terror on the babysitter for the forseeable future.
Preference for potential babysitters will go to
1. Professional shepherds and herders of fast-moving livestock;
2. Teachers of classrooms full of ADD children between the ages of 3 and 5.
3. People with quick eye/hand/foot coordination with the ability to move through fast, slow and stationary obstacles without effort.
4. Anyone with the patience of Ghandi.
Since Crabby and Crazy will be completely out of cell phone range for the weekend, Crazy, paranoid mom that she is will also be looking for a “Stop Over” person. The purpose of the Stop Over person is to be a safety net in case the babysitter gets hit by a truck or, after spending a couple of hours with the kids, runs screaming from the building. Being the emergency contact for the babysitter and a couple of Stop Overs during the weekend should be all that is required, unless any of the aforesaid disasters occur with the babysitter, in which case, the Stop Over person becomes the babysitter.
Any potential babysitter, or stop over-er will have to understand ahead of time that Crazy is completely neurotic when it comes to the Kids of Run A Muck Ranch. Breathe in, breathe out, and remember, Crazy will be leaving with Crabby, so you won’t have to deal with her for long!
Obviously, this call for help is for locals only!
Please send recommendations or notifications of interest to Runamuck.firstname.lastname@example.org or call 602-920-5866.
And no, we do not expect anyone to do this for free!