Run A Muck Ranch News Bulletin 6/5/13

Marcy Suspected of Attempted Murder of Vito in a Ploy to Secure a Permanent Position at Run A Muck Ranch

A couple weeks prior to Vito’s medical crisis, Marcy decided to start chewing shoes, more particularly, The Crazy Dog Lady’s work boots.  A few pieces were never recovered, and it was suspected said pieces went in one end and out the other of Marcy’s person.

However, when the zip lock of Intestinal Blockage material was presented to Crazy after Vito’s surgery, the 2 largest missing pieces of Crazy’s chewed work boots were included in the ‘goop’.

This is the face of an evil mind...
This is the face of an evil mind…

Given Vito’s history of never touching the footwear of either Crazy or Crabby, it can only be assumed that Marcy, the closest thing to a real wolf Vito has encountered in his current life (as opposed to his prior life where he was the largest wolf to ever walk the earth), somehow convinced him that contemporary wolves eat shoes.  Thus, Vito did what he never did before:  He ate parts of a shoe, and his life threatening intestinal blockage occurred as a result.

Lucky for Vito, Marcy’s evil plan failed and he is now back to his old self, with no permanent effects.

Run A Muck Ranch Dogs Prove Dismal Failures as a Security Force

Though Crazy usually works alone in her landscape business, there are times when helpers are needed. One Saturday, the crew met Crazy at The Ranch prior to going to the job site.  4 (four) strange men appeared in the driveway at approximately 4:45 am that day.

Despite the fact that strange humans were at the Ranch before daylight, and despite the fact they surrounded Crazy as they discussed the impending job, not one of the Run A Muck Ranch Dogs, those that were in the back yard, or the late sleepers just on the other side of the OPEN bedroom window (faces driveway) had a word to say.

13 dogs and not one could be bothered to shout a word of warning that Crazy, or the property, were protected.  Indeed, Crabby, a light sleeper, was not even jostled in the slightest from his slumber.

When asked for comment, Crabby shook his head, sighed and uttered the statement “Worthless heathens!”.

The Heathens refusing to go outside on a hot day.  It's easier to herd them all into the hallway, then sweep them out as a group than to try to get them out individually.
The Heathens refusing to go outside on a hot day. It’s easier to herd them all into the hallway, then sweep them out as a group than to try to get them out individually.

Mortimer Chastised for Trying to Save Lives

On a recent camping trip, Mortimer was chastised by a relative stranger for stealing that stranger’s breakfast from a table.  Crabby, still asleep at the time, gave Morty the Stink Eye when he heard the tale. It was not until Mortimer and Crabby returned to the Ranch that anyone cared to hear Mortimer’s side of the story:

CLEARLY the fellas had not set up camp with the possibilities of bears in mind...
CLEARLY the fellas had not set up camp with the possibility of bears in mind…

As relayed to Crazy,  Mortimer was concerned about the food being left out.  That particular campsite, a popular area for RV’s and car campers, had been the scene of several black bear enounters over the years.   Mortimer, knowing his Dad was still sleeping, and therefore defensless, saw the unattended food as potential bear bait.

Bears can be sneaky, even hiding under logs.
Bears can be sneaky, even hiding under logs.

In a selfless attempt to protect Crabby, and everyone else at the campsite for that matter, from a possible bear attack, Mortimer ate the unattended food.

CLEARLY Mortimer had a real and valid reason for doing what he did.

Charlie’s Dental Woes Showing Significant Improvement

After being diagnosed with Equine Odontoclastic Tooth Resorption & Hypercementosis (God bless ‘Cut and Paste’!), and the subsequent recommendation that all his top incisors be extracted, another vet recommended putting Charlie on an immune boosting supplement, Equisano.


Though it took several tries to actually get the order to process, a 4 month supply of Equisano was delivered to the Ranch in late April.  By the end of May, Charlie was showing significant improvement in his chewing.  Additionally, the small lesions on his gums have significantly reduced.

At this point, Run A Muck Ranch is calling Charlie’s treatment a success, and it appears his teeth will be saved.  That being said, despite the improvements, the need for annual periodontal teeth cleanings will still be required.

Imagine if you had to put up with THIS for your cleanings!
Imagine if you had to put up with THIS for your cleanings!

Emmi Brings Shame On Run A Muck Ranch

For the week, Crazy is watching over the dogs of a neighbor.  Every evening (or morning on the weekends), they are brought over to The Ranch for interaction and attention.

Come ON! Take us to The Ranch already! Lucky the corgi and Clyde the rat terrier.

The first day Lucky and Clyde were brought over, Emmi was pretty mean to them, and not in a nice way.  Rather than greet with joyous abandon, the trademark of the Run A Muck Ranch kids, Emmi was snarly and pushy.   This proved quite embarrassing to all who dwell at Run A Muck Ranch.

Though Emmi did evenutually accept the visitors, her initial behavior had Crazy wondering if she should take Emmi to dog park, turn her loose, then go hide, leaving Emmi alone in a place of uncertainty to let her know how it feels.  Upon hearning the idea, Crabby immediately forbade it.

Emmi had better get her act together soon.  In July, Stanley, now known as Max, a former foster at Run A Muck Ranch, and his Schnoodle sister will be living at The Ranch for a week.  Unlike Lucky and Clyde, Stanley WILL NOT put up with disrespect from young ones.

Crazy Dog Lady Wonders What to do with Spare Jeep Sticker in Kitchen Junk Drawer

When Mortimer’s sticker was purchased, a second sticker was stuck to it.    The unintentional theft was not discovered until Mortimer’s sticker was being applied to the Waggin’ Wagon.   The spare was relegated to the kitchen junk drawer.

The ‘stray’ sticker was discovered recently during a foray into the drawer, which, in case anyone, including Crabby, is interested, is the second one up from the floor.

Drawers are nothing but odd pouches when you think about it.  This thought came to me as I was ‘lemuring’, excuse me, leaning against the counter.

What else has pouches?  ‘Marc(y)‘upials.  But a drawer is not really a ‘Marc(y)‘upial, though I can see where one would make the mistake as they were ‘lemuring’, excuse me, leaning against the counter.

Crazy despises waste and is now left wondering what to do with the ‘stray’ sticker, that has never been put on the Waggin’ Wagon.  It is almost like a ‘feral’ sticker when you think about it.

Crazy is open to suggestions as to what to do with the ‘stray’, one could say ‘feral’ sticker.  Perhaps as people are pondering what to do with it, they, and Crabby, would enjoy watching this video of a completely random dog, playing with the hose.

Let Crazy know if any ideas come to mind!


10 thoughts on “Run A Muck Ranch News Bulletin 6/5/13

  1. I would have thought the answer was obvious so there is no need to get fruzzled ( a John word which is a cross between frazzled and puzzled) and it’s plain that 13 is not really a very lucky number. Now, 14 – that’s a good number. :o)

    1. Bite your tongue dear! I was referring to possibly just keeping Marcy since no one seems to be interested in her anyway. Just make it official is all. Marcy would make 13 (thirteen) and even then, would be so far over the cliff as to be scarey!. Don’t wish 14 on me!!!

      1. No I wouldn’t do that. I have no idea how you manage with 12 dogs and hold down a profession. I have great respect for you both because it has to be a partnership otherwise it just wouldn’t work. Sometimes we feel that the “worthless heathens” don’t appreciate anything and I feel that way about my two at times, but then I think, they do – somewhere within them, they do appreciate all that we do for them. And, well, we have to believe that otherwise there’s just no point to anything.

    1. Chuckle… The guys have been working my “I need help” jobs for years. I know I can count on them. The “heathens” are the misfits, a couple of them alleged mean mixes who could care less that strangers are surrounding Mom let alone the property. Pretty sad when they can’t be bothered to do more than ‘watch’. 🙂

    1. We’ll see if Crabby becomes the voice of reason, keeping Marcy at foster status, or if he caves like everyone else in the house has, and says she stays.

  2. Crabby resigned himself years ago that the “2 dog” household shall never cross his path again…..I never needed to look out he rear window anyhow, bring on the stickers

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