Queen Maude Celebrates 13 Years of
Making the World a Better Place
13 Years ago, on November 15, a special girl was born to a miniature Australian Shepard mother, a father who was just passing through, and became Maude of Run A Muck Ranch.
As the only furry female living at the Ranch in 1999, Maude immediately became Queen. In her 13 year reign, she has ruled with a firm but gentle paw over fosters, foundlings and siblings, at least until the K9 population reached 12, and she told The Crabby Man and The Crazy Dog Lady they were on their own.
At her last vet checkup with a new vet, it was reported that had he not known her age, he would have guessed Maude to be significantly younger based on her blood work and organ function tests, indicating the prediction of many more years of reign, even if she has relegated herself to figurehead status.
Though the following video was made for the Queen of England, it is quite fitting for the Queen of Run A Muck Ranch as well.
Maude celebrated her big day, just her, The Crazy Dog Lady and The Crabby Man, with dinner at Burger King, her own ice cream cone and a stroll through the desert.
Mortimer Proves Perfect as The Crabby Man’s
Best Hiking Bud
Any Woodsman need a Woodsdog, and thus far, the Run A Muck Ranch kids, while adequate, have never really struck “THE” chord with The Crabby Man as far as Best Hiking Buddy – until now.
On a recent trip north, The Crabby Man decided to give Mortimer a try. Morty proved to be limber, lithe, brave, and responsive. He thoroughly enjoyed the adventure, and his enjoyment increased the enjoyment of The Crabby Man.
When subsequently tested on an overnight trip, Mortimer continued to dazzle, staying within sight on the trail and never leaving the campsite.
Mortimer is now elevated beyond the status of Run A Muck Ranch kid to Morty – The Trusty Dog of The Crabby Hiker and will be featured in pictures and albums showing his adventures in an outside forum.
See the photographic masterpieces of The Crabby Man depicting some of the most incredible scenery you will ever see at http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Crabby-Mans-Serenity-Hikes/295784383792826. Don’t forget to look for the pics of his Trusty Dog Morty!
DASH! Suffers Near Death Experience Over a Hairball
Just when it was believed that any possible cause of intestinal blockage was eliminated from a 1 mile radius around Run A Muck Ranch, DASH! once again proved that all efforts to protect his innards are futile.
Recently, DASH! was found, wearing his gassy ears and doing the constipation shuffle. He was immediately put on his Old Man Digestive Problem regimen: 1/2 tablet Gas-X, 3 ml Laculose and 4 ml Myrilax. While the ears left the gassy position relatively early in the episode, said ears remained distressed, and the constipation shuffle continued into the next day.
After several constipation walks, and several status calls to the veterinarian, DASH! finally passed a massive hairball.
While the humans of Run a Muck Ranch can try to protect DASH!‘s gastrointestinal tract by being ever vigilant against small swallowables, they are unable to cause him to stop slobbering on his siblings, including the more recently added, longer haired, excessive shedding, William and Mortimer.
Therefore, from this day forward, pursuant to the vet’s recommendation, DASH! will be receiving regular doses of (gasp!) cat hairball remedy to help prevent further hairball crisis.
When asked how they felt about their brother requiring cat medications, the Run A Muck pack fell over laughing.
Slugger Lifts Leg to Pee on a Bush
With great astonishment, both The Crazy Dog Lady and The Crabby Man witnessed Slugger actually lift his leg to pee, said stream directed at a bush.
Never before has the Slug Nut, now 2 years old, offered more than a squat, and even then, that is an exaggeration. To “squat” implies unnecessary physical effort when all that is really needed is to keep one’s feet out of the way of the urine stream.
Lifting a leg would simply be too much like work. To intentionally pee on a bush requires concentration, at least at some level. Putting the 2 together has always been above Slugger’s mental and physical capabilities.
So stunned were the Run A Muck humans that neither thought to document the event on film. For that reason, the only accompanying photo for this story is of Emmi the first time she peed away from home, and with people looking at her. She was 6 months out of the pound at that time. Previous to that monumental event, Emmi would sooner bust open than pee in an unfamiliar place, and even at home, if ANYONE was looking at her, she would simply cross her legs until she had her necessary privacy.
The Crazy Dog Lady is a Lousy Mother:
William Now on Prozac.
It is with great embarrassment and humility that The Crazy Dog Lady has to admit that The Crabby Man was correct in that Crazy was too easy on William, but not in the way most would think.
Where Vito and Emmi were left to integrate into the family at their own pace, and learned through the direction of their siblings, with little or no intervention on the part of the Run A Muck Ranch humans, Crazy decided it would be a *great idea* to cuddle William through his issues. Though not permitting him to get away with anything, per se, this ‘cuddling’ caused William to become significantly possessive and defensive of Crazy, resulting in his ill-treatment of Mortimer and a bite to the head of Crabby which resulted in blood.
Seems William has decided that Crazy is to be protected at all costs, and Mortimer and Crabby are the enemies. The result has not been pretty.
None of this is Sweet William’s fault, rather, it is the fault of The Crazy Dog Lady for two reasons: 1) not having enough faith in the rest of the pack to do for Willy what they did for Vito and Emmi; and 2) wanting so badly for Willy to become comfortable that she overcompensated for him. Together these errors have taught William bad behaviors that need to be corrected.
Re-conditioning will consist of a distancing of William from Crazy, (though not completely) with the medicinal therapy of Prozac to keep Willy from hurting Mortimer and Crabby as the 3 bond – without Crazy’s interference. It is hoped to have William off his meds within a year if the reconditioning proceeds as hoped.
In a related story, The Crazy Dog Lady is suffering from serious separation anxiety over the new distancing from William. To make matters worse, she may need antidepressants since William doesn’t seem to be as devastated over the significant reduction in one on one time as The Crazy Dog Lady is.
William Cheats on The Crazy Dog Lady
During a visit from an out-of-town family friend, a person William has never before met, William dinged The Crazy Dog Lady significantly by jumping up on the couch beside the visitor, flashing his best Persian Dreamy Eyes, and cuddling. Before then, William never flashed his Persian Dreamy Eyes or cuddled up to anyone but The Crazy Dog Lady.
After spooning what was left of her heart off the floor, The Crazy Dog Lady sought revenge by giving a big bear hug to Mortimer, in full view of William. This action got no reaction from William at all.
Though the two later made up from their mutual straying, Crazy had to admit that Willy’s initiation of a full contact relationship with a stranger clearly demonstrates how far he has come and how proud she is of him.
There is still a long road ahead, but the road already covered is immense. Now all that is necessary is for The Crazy Dog Lady to stay out of his way and William will go farther faster.