How a “Hot Chick” Rebuffs Unwanted Advances.

As a middle-aged white chick with a rake – with my own landscape maintenance business, employing only me, myself and I, I often find myself at the dump.  Who would have thunk such a place would be considered prime hunting grounds for men to find potential mates? Additionally, with all the fine looking ladies out there, who would have thunk  I would be considered Prime Lady Beef?

Let me draw you a picture:  Preparing to leave for work means rolling out of bed, brushing my teeth, dressing in an old T-shirt and jeans, and donning a baseball cap.  With 12 dogs to feed, there really isn’t much time for anything else anyway – but I digress.   During Phoenix summers,  we are talking above 100 degrees every day.  I am already what you would call “ripe” before I’m finished with my first property – and that is usually at temperatures down in the nippy 90’s.  Imagine if you will what I would look and smell like after finishing several jobs with the mercury at 108 or higher.

One would think whatever your imagination could conjure up from the last paragraph would be the ideal man repellant on its own.  One would think wrong.

I have been mystified, stunned and completely amazed at the number of times I have been hit on, not only by gentlemen that look and probably smell as bad as I do, but also by the pressed shorts/cowboy hat/polo shirt wearing caucasian fellows who never leave the air conditioning of their trucks, deferring all manner of work to their crews.

“Please go away” or “Not Interested” never had any effect, so my usual response when receiving  the Dump Strut of Love is to display my wedding ring.   Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.  Sometimes I have to listen to all the reasons why my nuptials are irrelevant up to the point I turn on the blower to get the dustings out of the trailer.  Sometimes I have to blow the dustings in the face of the speaker, just to get rid of him.

The point to be made:  Being married is not a foolproof deterrent to unwanted advances.

On a recent dump visit, I changed my tactic.  As I was getting out of my truck on “The Hill”, I saw a guy 2 spaces over oogling.  Sure enough, he was leaning on my trailer making conversation before I even had my straps undone. (Mind out of the gutter please, I am talking about the straps that secure my trailer!)

I waited patiently for the advance, which sure enough came, this time as an invitation to get drinks after I was unloaded.  I didn’t tell him to go away.  I didn’t tell him I was married.  I looked him straight in the eye and said: “I have 12 dogs.”

He looked at me funny, then started to laugh.  I spoke again; “Really” and I began ticking off on my fingers; “Maude, Angus, Gracie, Franky…”

I never finished the list.  He had already walked away, shaking his head.  Never before have I gotten a man at the dump to leave me alone so easily.

Seems I have finally found a full proof way to rebuff unwanted advances!

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